So Let Me Put This On Paper...

or on screen or whatever to get it out of my head. I'm trying to write, but this keeps popping back into my head, but if I do commit it to a little corner outside of my head, it might stop running through my mind...

Yesterday, I went with a few colleagues to lunch to a prof's house. He has nice country home in a resort town and we drove out there. We do this a few times a year. We organize a potluck, and it is always a lovely time. The prof's wife is also in the same discipline as we all are, but the others are researchers while I focus more on clinical work as does she so she always tends to engage me on the topic. Nevermind that I've never asked for advice, that's all perfectly good and fine that she wants to dispense wisdom. Mentoring is helpful. The problem is, she kills my spirit. I am all for realistic appraisal of the field, its limitations, job prospects, and all that good stuff but she is such a downer. I have a feeling that she is a bit disillusioned with her career and she is not the most upbeat/relaxed person to start with but still...

I swear, every time I've had a conversation with her about this, she makes me feel like I should quit my degree and get myself to the unemployment office stat because that is where I'll end up anyway. She has repeated me things like "You should get experience and training with a pediatric population. That is where the interesting jobs are." It's all well and good except 1) I told her it is not of interest to me to work with children, 2) I am quite far along within my degree to pick up something like that which would require a lot more work, and 3) I don't think I could handle working with sick kids all the time. I am willing to make concessions regarding a lot of things, but I am not going to get trained in something just because I may find more jobs that I wouldn't want anyway. I also told her all my experience has been in setting X but I'd also like to explore setting Y after graduation through some contacts who might be able to hook me up with opportunities. I don't know if I'd like setting Y, I have a feeling setting X is more for me, but since there are fewer jobs in setting X and they don't tend to pay as well combined with a greater flexibility in setting Y, I want to give it Y a try. She proceeded to tell me that indeed setting X is much better, even if there are no jobs in it, and why setting Y is all wrong, and how it is so difficult to make ends meet in that setting. Thanks, that was very helpful.

This went on and on about a variety of aspects of the job for like 15 minutes. Basically, everything I am interested in about the job was either: a) the opposite of what I should do if I want to get a good job or b) will be impossible to find. I am always a little thrown by at 1) her lack of sensitivity towards my enthusiasm for my field and my future and 2) just plain discouraged and sad. It's not like I am getting a Ph.D. in Cloud Shovelling/Unicorn Chasing/Leprechaun Surgery. Anyway, people suck sometimes.